Part 2 of chapter 1. (part 1 link included)?

I think you would be better off writing in the third or second person, the story just doesn't seem to be jelling in the first person. Also, keep swearing to the dialogue, it's not cool especially when its just for the front of it. It would also be a great idea to change the formatting, its difficult to tell where one paragraph starts and the other begins without indenting.